OK, since the season is finally approaching (and since we finally have a Buffy creative group, I hope nobody minds if I toss out a little Christmas carol parody I wrote about 5 months ago. There's a couple more where this came from, but only one of those is even close to being finished.

Enjoy!

The 12 Slays of Hellmouth

(With DEEPEST apologies to whoever wrote The 12 Days of Christmas <BG>)

For the first slay of Hellmouth, Buffy gave to me
The Master trying to break free.

For the second slay of Hellmouth, Buffy gave to me Two technopagans,
And The Master trying to break free.

For the third slay of Hellmouth, Buffy gave to me
Three witch’s curses,
Two technopagans,
And The Master trying to break free.

For the fourth slay of Hellmouth, Buffy gave to me Four sharpened stakes,
Three witch’s curses,
Two technopagans,
And The Master trying to break free.

For the fifth slay of Hellmouth, Buffy gave to me
FIVE VAMPIRE VICTIMS,
Four sharpened stakes,
Three witch’s curses,
Two technopagans,
And The Master trying to break free.

For the sixth slay of Hellmouth, Buffy gave to me
Six invisible Marcies attacking,
FIVE VAMPIRE VICTIMS,
Four sharpened stakes,
Three witch’s curses,
Two technopagans,
And The Master trying to break free.

For the seventh slay of Hellmouth, Buffy gave to me Seven Willows hacking,
Six invisible Marcies attacking,
FIVE VAMPIRE VICTIMS,
Four sharpened stakes,
Three witch’s curses,
Two technopagans,
And The Master trying to break free.

For the eighth slay of Hellmouth, Buffy gave to me Eight Giles researching,
Seven Willows hacking,
Six invisible Marcies attacking,
FIVE VAMPIRE VICTIMS,
Four sharpened stakes,
Three witch’s curses,
Two technopagans,
And The Master trying to break free.

For the ninth slay of Hellmouth, Buffy gave to me
Nine Darlas with guns,
Eight Giles researching,
Seven Willows hacking,
Six invisible Marcies attacking,
FIVE VAMPIRE VICTIMS,
Four sharpened stakes,
Three witch’s curses,
Two technopagans,
And The Master trying to break free.

For the tenth slay of Hellmouth, Buffy gave to me
Ten principals eaten,
Nine Darlas with guns,
Eight Giles researching,
Seven Willows hacking,
Six invisible Marcies attacking,
FIVE VAMPIRE VICTIMS,
Four sharpened stakes,
Three witch’s curses,
Two technopagans,
And The Master trying to break free.

For the eleventh slay of Hellmouth, Buffy gave to me Eleven jealous Xanders,
Ten principals eaten,
Nine Darlas with guns,
Eight Giles researching,
Seven Willows hacking,
Six invisible Marcies attacking,
FIVE VAMPIRE VICTIMS,
Four sharpened stakes,
Three witch’s curses,
Two technopagans,
And The Master trying to break free.

For the twelfth slay of Hellmouth, Buffy gave to me Twelve Anointed Ones talking weirdly,
Eleven jealous Xanders,
Ten principals eaten,
Nine Darlas with guns,
Eight Giles researching,
Seven Willows hacking,
Six invisible Marcies attacking,
FIVE VAMPIRE VICTIMS,
Four sharpened stakes,
Three witch’s curses,
Two technopagans,
And The Master trying to break free.